Grief Recovery That Works

Posted By James on January 23, 2010

Some grief “experts” say there are no stages of grief, others say there are! I believe there are no set stages of grief, but the griever may go through some stages to recover.

The really important information is not whether or not there are stages of grief, but how to recover from grief.

Grief is an emotional nightmare. It covers many emotions, many times several at once, but no matter what emotions you suffer in grief, they are your emotions. They come from you, not from anyone else. They are your personal emotions.

I think there are three main types of grieving people. First there are those that grieve right away and get over the major issues of grief quickly. Second there are those who grieve for a long time and finally get past the major grief issues. Then there are those who never “get over” their grief. Of course there are people who fall between the cracks of these 3 simple definitions, but I am looking from a broad perspective here.

I believe those who grieve right away and get over the major issues quickly, are those who have a good understanding of what grief and the loss of their loved one means to them. They have a good image of what death means to them and are able to cope with the loss in their life. In the second case, they have an idea of what death means to them, but are just not totally prepaired to let go of the loved one. (All three types of mourners will keep memories of their loved one close at hand.) The third type person, is not ready to lose their loved one, and never had any intention of them dying. They can grasp the concept of the person being gone. But are not certain of where the loved one is, or if there is any hope of ever seeing them again.

Many people in the first group have some kind of religious influence in their life and expect their loved one is in a better place, and have the hope that someday they will see them again. Of course even some of the people in this group are very emotional and can’t get over missing their loved one. These people will continue to grieve for an extended period of time, and may have a lot of trouble getting over their loss.

The 2nd and 3rd groups of people probably don’t have as much hope of their loved one being in a better place or of them seeing them ever again, and thereby would normally be at greater risk of being more emotional at the death of a loved one.

The bottom line is if you are still having trouble getting over the loss of a loved one, and it has been more than a month since your loss, you might want to get help in overcoming your grief.

The good news here is I am very close to releasing my grief recovery program on this website and making it available to help you get over your grief issues quickly and completely. Keep watching this blog and I will announce when it is available for you to buy. I have spent the past several months testing it out and tweeking it, and it is going to be a wonderful program at a price you can afford.

God Bless and keep you!

James Einert, ND, CH

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Tags: emotions, Grief Recovery, Grieving

Posted By James on July 29, 2009

My dad died last week. It was a great loss for me, as I had lost my mom 6 years ago.

He was in declining health, but not life threatening. But he had a sudden aneurysm in his stomach, and was gone in less than 2 hours from being taken to the hospital.

My dad was a Christian and ready to go. We sang gospel music for over 45 years and me, my wife and children will carry on with that ministry.

The emotion that surprises me the most from the loss of my dad, is I feel alone because I have lost both my parents! Even though I have a wonderful wife and 3 great children, I feel like since I am the head of the Einert family now, that I am alone at the top, having to steer the ship all by myself.

Now I know this is not really the truth, but as long as I had a parent or grandparent alive, I always had someone above me to go to and ask advice. I have talked with others that have lost both parents and they agreed that they had the same feeling.

I have been studying grief recovery for children lately, and just know that young children who lose both of their parents must totally feel lost in the world. Can you imagine being a young child and having to go through the loss of both parents. Not knowing who to turn to, and not knowing who will take care of your needs, or whom you can confide in.

I am working on a DVD to help young children cope with death, pray I do a good job on this so it will be helpful to the children who view it.

I also have a new CD out to help people who are trying to cope with loss. It is called “Help for the Grieving Heart” by James Einert ND, CH and it is available at Amazon.com click here. It is a relaxing hypnotic program that will help you remember the good times and focus less on the loss and bad times. Hope you check it out. If you buy it, go back and give me a review on Amazon. I would appreciate it.

That’s my thoughts for now, until next time, God Bless!
James Einert, ND, CH

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Tags: Children's grief, Grief Recovery, grief recovery CD, grief recovery DVD, Help for the Grieving Heart, loss of a parent

Posted By James on May 15, 2009

Should we grieve?

The Bible says we should cry at birth and rejoice at death. So should we grieve?

Webster’s Dictionary gives grief the following definition, “Deep and poignant distress caused by or as by bereavement.” It also calls it suffering. So should we grieve?

First, let me say I believe there is a difference in sadness and grief. The above definition calls grief distress and suffering. To me this is much more than sadness. According to the dictionary sadness and sorrow are associated with grief. But I know from my experience when my mom died, I was very sad. At times I am still sad when I think of her being gone, but I am not depressed, or hurt. Usually these thoughts of sadness just lead me into happy memories of when I had mom with me, and thoughts of her being happy and well in heaven (being a Christian).

But what of those who grieve for months, or even years, unable to function well because of the loss of a loved one? Is this good, or even normal? I think not!

I believe there should be a time of sadness and heavy heartedness right after the loss of a loved one (or pet or divorce or a move), but I think under normal circumstances a person should pretty much be over their loss to the point of normal function within a few days to a couple of weeks after the loss. How long should we grieve (suffer)? Who does grief help or hurt? In the short term it helps us all to have a good cry as we remember our loss, but in the long run we hurt ourselves and those around us when our grief continues to reduce our function for too long a time.

Also long term grief can lead to all kinds of health problems, from depression to pain of all kinds. It is important to help those who are still suffering from loss after a month or two.

How can we help? There are many ways to help those who are suffering from deep grief without resorting to therapy or drugs. First you can be there for them. Help them remember the good times they had with their loved one (pet, X, home, etc.). Keep the experience positive, but let them cry if they need to. It would probably be OK to offer them a shoulder to cry on, but don’t let them dwell on the sadness and pain too long. Keep coming back to the good memories, as these are the healing memories. Let them know, especially in a death, that the loved one will always be with them in the wonderful memories they left behind.

Also, keep checking this website http://griefrecoverythatworks.com for some new CD programs designed to help reinforce the good memories that we have of our loved ones, and to help people only remember the good times. These CDs will be wonderful assets to helping heal the grief we are suffering. I expect to have some of these finished by the 1st of June, so keep watching the website. I will also have a FREE program to help those who have just had a loss to sleep better. Many times right after a loss, sleep is the hardest thing to find.

I hope this article has been of some help to you and your family. Please keep reading these posts for other helpful articles in the future. Subscribe to this feed to get updates when a new article is posted. It is my hope to start posting articles more often in the near future.

Thanks and God Bless you!

James Einert, ND, CH

Grief Recovery Specialist

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Tags: Grief, Grief Recovery, Grieving, loss, sadness, suffering